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The Battle of Body

It has been nearly a year since Greece. Nearly a year since my transformative journey birthed and began systematically burning my entire world down.
Today I sit panting. I have fought my body for an entire hour of yin yoga. It should be relaxing and calming. But for my body and I this is our battleground. We wage war against damaged tendons and scar tissue. What is relaxing for others is a stressful and necessary process for the broken parts of my body to ever hold hope of reaching the strength they once were.
I am in immense pain, this is an act of meditation.

I pause, tucking into a child's pose mid-battle and tears begin to stream down my cheeks. In this last year I have cried a lifetime of bottled emotions. A year ago we pulled the plug at my first retreat and now...the emotions and uncried tears cascade at any moment.
I gently stroke the scar tissue in my left thigh. Even knowing the touch is coming, the entire muscle jolts with pain. The tendons underneath tremble uncontrollably…

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